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  • Writer's pictureBy Lani


Updated: May 2, 2020

Heartbreak (no matter what kind) can hurt! And when you’re in the midst of it all it’s hard to see clearly. I’m a firm believer that feeling all your emotions is important, there’s no point suppressing everything so that you can’t feel. Relishing in these sensations is what makes us human, and without moments of pain we wouldn’t know the good!

Looking at heartbreak with a grateful mind (after going through a few tissue boxes of course) is important. It allows us to see the time of pain as a beautiful change! However, no matter what your age, going through any form of heartbreak never feels any easier- so the list below is a compilation of some things to try and remember to get you back to feeling happy once again.

Things to remember, so that you can find you again after heartbreak:

1. Don’t Suppress!

This first one is a biggie, because suppressing your emotions may often seem like the only viable option… but trust me, whatever you don’t deal with now will only have to be dealt with later. Addressing whoever, or whatever broke your heart in some way is necessary. Sit in your room with the lights down and music that makes you want to cry, and immerse yourself in it. Then get lost in your thoughts, address all the emotions you feel. Write down what you’re thinking, even script an unaddressed letter, just as long as you let it all out you’ll be able to picture moving on. The sooner you deal with these emotions, the sooner you can start learning to forgive and forget.

2. Get together with your gang

Find your people and talk it all out. Whatever word vomit you need to say about the situation, say it once and then get lost in a different topic. Bring up conversations of the future, ask your friends how they’re doing instead. Getting lost in conversation of other topics will allow you to find happiness in something new again! Go out for drinks with your girl gang and meet some new friends while your out, hike your way through the bush, find a waterfall, or see a movie and hit up your favourite restaurant! Stay busy with exciting experiences and don’t miss out because you’re too busy wishing for the past. What’s done is done, it happened for a reason- so be present and have fun amongst the people you are with because they are your present.

3. Steer clear of social media & create a new account!

Take a break for a while! You’ll be surprised how refreshing it is. Try to remember a time where you didn’t need validity from others to enjoy a particular moment you are experiencing. The reaction to what goes online never truly satiates you, it ends up being a bottomless pit that you keep trying to fill.

Experiences feel more wholesome you realise they are fleeting. Also, not visually seeing what others around you are doing is another benefit. You don’t need to check Snapchat or Instagram stories and see others happenings, you are not them and so you should feel no reason to care. In fact, deleting some of your socials may be the way to go (for me getting rid of Snapchat and FB was the best decision I’ve made!). Otherwise another useful tip for socials such as Instagram is to log out of your personal account and create another account where you only follow people, companies and businesses that inspire you (instead of following people you know). That way you can stay logged into that account and only see posts from those who motivate and encourage you! You’ll be surprised how much better of a mind frame you will be in when you do this. The seed for life inspiration will be planted, and you will certainly feel yourself productively immersing in future goals and things you love.

4. Start a side hustle

Whether you are an aspiring entrepreneur or not, working on a side hustle is never a bad idea. It is a great way to channel your creativity and allow you to spend time on something you enjoy- which is the most important thing when trying to get over heartbreak. Take a look at what your hobbies are, and find a way to make something work from that. You’d be surprised at what kinds of jobs there are out there waiting for you; coaching a sport you enjoy, writing articles about pretty much anything for bloggers, taking photos for a small business, or even doing up some old furniture and selling it!

There are endless possibilities for ways to make money, if you have a passion just type up a post and put it on eBay or gumtree. Regardless of experience, as long as you are honest in your advertisement I guarantee someone, somewhere out there could benefit from your skills (check out some ways I made money like this when I was younger here).

Be flexible and open to something new and within no time a side hustle will have you focused on something rewarding and positive, making you move on from that heartbreak in no time.

5. Embrace the change

Regardless of the type of heartbreak you are going through, the commonality is that it always invokes change- dwell in this. Cut your hair. Get a new piercing. Move the furniture in your room, better yet give it an entire new do-over. Heartbreak gives a painful kind of change that it forces you to work through, so if you can modify other parts of your life at the same time, you give the control back to you. Learning to rid yourself of what no longer serves you is important, that way room is made for everything new.


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